Learning from Failure: A Pilot Study

Learning from Failure: A Pilot Study

Michael Lance Whisenant, PhD

Hypothesis

Humans are an imperfect Learning Technology and learn by failing.

Conjecture

Failing comes before learning.

Every time we fail, we gain experience.

Learning occurs after we fail, and before we experience Enlightenment.

Enlightenment occurs when the lesson is learned thus leading to an understanding of the learning process.

Learning is lost when the lesson is forgotten.

Memory degradation is when the lesson learned is forgotten.

We then fail, and the process repeats.

If true, then:

Learning occurs between failures.

Understanding occurs when our gained experience produces a moment of Enlightenment.

Understanding is lost when the original lesson is forgotten.

Memory degradation is a loss of understanding.

We then fail, and the process repeats.

Conditional Logic

HBBpCL

Fail ->

Experience gained,

fail again ->

experience gained,

fail again ->

experience gained,

Understanding occurs.

Lesson is forgotten ->

Memory Degradation is a loss of understanding.

Fail -> process repeats

Literature Review

If you were given the opportunity to share specific experiences or events that had occurred in your life, would you be willing to do so? Would you be willing to expound on your successes and failures to where you could state the following with a high degree of confidence: I learned my lesson.

Before you answer, know this: It will not be easy. Exactly the opposite in fact. This will require you to be honest, vulnerable, and at times, uncomfortable. It will require a tremendous amount of work on your part but know that the potential applications for this study are unlimited.

Final question: Do you want to contribute to the expansion of human knowledge and evolution? If yes, then this is your chance to ask the following question: Am I learning from my mistakes?

Case Study #1: A Tree Rat Becomes a Squirrel

The following case studies represent significant events from my life that caused me to change my behavior or way of thinking. These studies will be discussed with the intent to provide as much information about the event so the following question can be discussed, open-coded, and then answered via a 7-point Likert scale: Did I learn my lesson?

To anyone who has never had the opportunity to travel around northeast Texas, one constant that can be depended on is the number of squirrels that populate this area. Known as the Piney Woods Region, these critters traverse their natural landscape with ease and grace that can only be achieved by those who live among the trees. Growing up on the Texas and Arkansas border, we had a plethora of gray squirrels that populated the pine and pin oak trees in my neighborhood. Even as a child, I remember thinking that we had A LOT of squirrels roaming amongst the tree branches. Their small claws could be heard scampering on tree bark as they conducted their daily grind of finding food, burying it, forgetting, and then repeating the process. Were they burying acorns for their future survival, or for any squirrel who happened to find the buried food, I wondered? And how did they expect to find their food using a “needle in a haystack” approach? Yet not only were they surviving, but they were also thriving! Squirrel nests dotted the interwoven leaf canopies, and, in my neighborhood, there were few natural predators to balance the system. So, I decided to manufacture a control on a natural system that I deemed was not functioning efficiently. I decided to exert my influence on the Post Street Squirrel Community.

Soon after this realization, I received my first pump-action BB gun as a gift for Christmas. Now possessing the tool to accompany my will, I began to systematically shoot tree rats from my backyard, my neighbor’s backyard, and any who made the mistake of being within my 20/20 eyesight when possessing my tool; and I became exceptionally good at wielding my tool. With ten pumps of my carbine, I had a 50-yard range in which I was a dictator to those rats under my purview. I destroyed families, wrecked relationships, and ruined a community that, up until the arrival of my tool, was unaware of such a Destroyer.

Undeterred in my actions, and resolute in my will, I rarely retrieved my kills as a warning to those rats who continued to occupy my territory. One day while patrolling my yard, I noticed a nest that I had not noticed before. Feeling threatened at the arrival of a family that could build nests so quickly, I engaged my tool and prepared it for its purpose. Ten pumps? No, this is serious and requires max power. Fifteen pumps later, I stared down the barrel and through the open sights of my tool and took aim.

Click, Pssstttt, Thunk! Instant chaos erupted as my tool’s purpose found its mark. The tree rat barks filled the air as a member of their family was knocked from its perch and died before meeting the ground.

What happened next still rings clear in my head 25 years later.

Rather than scatter, one squirrel continued to bark, scream, and protest the nature in which its environment had been modified. I watched, listened to its protests, and retrieved the fallen squirrel from its resting place. I then double-wrapped it in plastic grocery bags, tied them together, and disposed of the carcass in the trash can.

I continued to use my tool and eventually expanded my resources to include rifles and shotguns. I increased my hunting area and introduced my presence to other tree rat communities in the county, with one major difference. My technology had become more powerful; hence I was potentially more powerful. Am I to wield this technology the same as I did during the Post Street Massacre? Am I still operating under the overpopulation directive, or have I crossed a line and become an indiscriminate taker of life?

Fast forward 5 years to my 17^th year on this planet. My proficiency in wielding my tool is still sharp though I have not used it for its original directive in quite some time… These days, if I want to practice or remember the steps in operating my tool, I seek out neutral landscapes and do not exert my influence on the native population. These days, my purpose in continuing to wield this powerful technology is for peacekeeping. I tread softly amongst my surroundings and respect the communities who choose to wield their technology for the purpose of food, water, shelter, and air.

As a result of life lessons and/or experience, a shift occurred, and my directive had been realigned to one of sustainability, and not destruction. What a moment! However, was it a single moment that caused this change in thought? Or had this change occurred because of failing a lesson repeatedly?

One day, 15 years later, while working in my backyard, I thought back on my community altering behavior and realized that we had a lot of tree rats in our neighborhood and, wouldn’t it be a promising idea to modify this situation to better accommodate my wants? Thinking I had reached an absolute conclusion that did not allow for dissuasion, I looked through the scope of my tool, located an over-populator, and subtracted one from the overpopulation directive.

Click. POW! Thunk. Instant chaos erupted as my tool’s purpose found its mark. The tree rat barks filled the air as a member of their community was knocked from its perch and died before meeting the ground.

Instantly, I remembered the lone squirrel from my childhood and its displeasure in my behavior. I remembered its barks and its cries of protest at having a Destroyer in its life rather than a Creator. Why did I just do that, I wondered? Sure, there are a lot of squirrels in the neighborhood, but there are also plenty of trees for them to dwell in with little to no impact on my being. And why did I start thinking of them as tree rats again instead of squirrels? Simply put, when did my viewpoint shift again from that of Destroyer, to Creator, and back to Destroyer? Ashamed, I replaced my tool, double-wrapped the dead squirrel in plastic grocery bags, tied them together, and disposed of my sin in the trash can.

Two years later. I rarely use my tool anymore. I still possess the knowledge and skill to operate its technology, though I have not used it for its original directive in quite some time. These days, if I want to practice or remember the steps in operating my tool, I seek out neutral landscapes and do not exert my influence on the native population. These days, my purpose in continuing to wield this powerful technology is for peacekeeping. I tread softly amongst my surroundings and respect the communities who choose to wield their technology for the purpose of food, water, shelter, and air.

While working in my backyard one afternoon, I noticed my wife, dog, and mom, standing around a pin oak in the yard and looking at the ground. I walked over and noticed that a juvenile squirrel had fallen from the tree and was mortally injured. It could not move its back legs, nor could it call out to its family for comfort. My dog had to be restrained as his instinct told him to eliminate this creature that had fallen into his domain. The pain in my wife’s eyes was palpable, causing my heart to drop as I knew what had to be done. I would have to become something that I had tried desperately to not be. I would have to become a Destroyer.

Knowing what was to occur, I told my family to go inside and that I would take care of it. I retrieved a shovel from our storage building and started preparing myself for what I was about to become.

Undeterred in my action, and resolute in my will, I swiftly dropped the blade of the shovel on the squirrel’s neck, and rather than subtracting one from the overpopulation directive, I created a new directive. I would only be a Destroyer when mercy was required.

I rarely use my tool anymore. I still possess the knowledge and skill to operate its technology, though I have not used it for its original directive in quite some time. These days, if I want to practice or remember the steps in operating my tool, I seek out neutral landscapes and do not exert my influence on the native population. These days, my purpose in continuing to wield this powerful technology is for peacekeeping. I tread softly amongst my surroundings and respect the communities who choose to wield their technology for the purpose of food, water, shelter, and air.

Methodology

The assessment question of “Have I learned my lesson?” will be measured quantitatively using the Human Baseline Builder scale (HBBsc), qualitatively via the Human Baseline Builder Survey (HBBsu) open-ended questions, qualitatively via the Human Baseline Builder Experience Factors survey (HBBefsu), and quantitatively via the HBBefsu scale (HBBefsc). The Department of Learning Technologies’ (LTEC) students and faculty at the University of North Texas (UNT) will, a) validate the survey/scales via content validity and face validity, and b) assess the reliability and consistency of the survey/scales via test-retest and inter-rater reliability (or inter-observer reliability).

Due to the seminal nature of the scales, internal/external consistency will also be measured in the following manner:

• HBBsc reliability will be determined using Cronbach’s Alpha (CA).

• HBBsc validity will be determined using Factor Analysis (FA).

• HBBefsc reliability will be determined using Cronbach’s Alpha (CA).

• HBBefsc validity will be determined using Factor Analysis (FA).

Due to the seminal nature of the surveys, internal/external consistency will be measured in the following manner:

• HBBsu reliability will be determined using CA.

• HBBsu validity will be determined using FA.

• HBBefsu reliability will be determined using CA.

• HBBefsu validity will be determined using FA.

After validation, reliability, and consistency is determined, I will serve as the original subject and score myself. Next, my colleagues will participate in the assessment and provide their opinion on whether I learned my lesson.

Part II

Secondly, I will submit my DNA to determine my genetic predisposition for certain diseases, inherited disorders, and potential health risks. The measure of my mental health will be determined by self-reporting scales such as: Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (STAI), Five-Factor Model, Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS), and Perceived Stress Scale (PSS).

We then could determine if we are a) learning from our mistakes, b) what human characteristics are present during the learning process, c) our physical baseline based on our DNA results, and d) our mental health baseline based on self-reporting scales.

With this information, we are presented with the following data points:

Our self-reported score on whether we are learning from our mistakes.
Our judgment score from two peers on whether they think we learned.
Our self-identified traits during the learning process.
Our traits as identified by our peers.
Our physical baseline is based on DNA results.
Our mental health baseline is based on self-reporting scales.

When presented together, we can potentially determine if we learned from our mistakes, and what agreed upon traits were present during the learning process. Also, we will know our genetic predisposition thus potentially identifying any future health risks that could impact the learning process. Lastly, our mental health baseline will provide a foundation for measuring future changes in one’s learning process.

We could then say that during the learning process, certain identified traits, genetic predispositions, and mental health issues were present.

Once a predetermined number of surveys has been reviewed and scored, we can then potentially compare learning, its subsequent human traits, and conditions, across a section of the population.

We will then have a starting point on whether humans are learning from their mistakes and whether they are physically and mentally healthy during the learning process.

Part III

Lastly, in a follow-up study post-graduation, I will conduct interviews with my family and friends. This will serve in providing valuable, second-hand perspectives and thoughts on the research question as it relates to a particular event being examined. The results will be open-coded, and the emergent themes will be identified. A parallel phenomenology study will be conducted on cases where the participant being interviewed directly experienced the event. Thus, their point of view would be documented, and the findings could be used to corroborate thematic elements in this study, follow-up studies, or other similar studies.

Human Baseline Builder Survey (HBBsu) (see Appendix C)

Instructions: For this assessment, please be as detailed as possible when answering the qualitative questions. If you are wanting to conduct this assessment to determine your personal Baseline, write three (3) personal stories in which you can state the following with a high degree of confidence: I learned my lesson. Score yourself and keep the result confidential so not to bias your reviewers. Locate two (2) people to read your stories and determine whether they think you learned your lesson. Add the reviewer’s scores together and subtract your self-score. The result potentially indicates your degree of learning in the situation being discussed.

Baseline (B) Question

Qualitative

1) In your own words, what is the lesson being taught?

Lance’s Learned Lesson (LLL) Question

Qualitative

2) Do you think Lance learned his lesson? Why or why not?

Quantitative

2a) Do you agree or disagree that Lance learned his lesson?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

Lance’s Turning Point Constant (LTPc) Question

Qualitative

3) Do you think Lance experienced a “turning point” or shift in his thinking that caused him to change his behavior? Why or why not?

Quantitative

3a) Do you think Lance experienced a “turning point” or shift in his thinking that caused him to change his behavior?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

The Forgotten Lesson Conundrum (FLc)

Qualitative

4) Do you think Lance will forget the lesson he learned? Why or why not?

Quantitative

4a) Do you agree or disagree that Lance will forget the lesson he learned?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

(Transition)

Human Baseline Builder Experience Factors Survey (HBBef) (See Appendix D)

Please highlight all that apply.

5)In your opinion, which personality traits were exhibited?

Extroversion: Outgoing, sociable, and energized by social interactions.

Introversion: Reserved, reflective, and energized by solitude and quiet environments.

Openness: Imaginative, curious, and open to new experiences and ideas.

Conscientiousness: Organized, responsible, and focused on achieving goals.

Agreeableness: Kind, cooperative, and considerate of others’ needs and feelings.

Neuroticism: Prone to experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety, mood swings, and irritability.

Ambition: Driven, determined, and motivated to achieve success.

Optimism: Positive outlook, hopeful, and confident in the future.

Resilience: Ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to challenges.

Empathy: Ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Assertiveness: Confident and self-assured in expressing thoughts, needs, and opinions.

Creativity: Ability to think and express oneself in original and innovative ways.

Curiosity: Eagerness to explore, learn, and seek new knowledge and experiences.

Flexibility: Adaptability and willingness to adjust to changing circumstances.

Patience: Ability to remain calm and composed in difficult or frustrating situations.

Add the total number of traits selected and divide by fifteen.

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

6) In your opinion, which emotional traits were exhibited?

Emotional Resilience: The ability to bounce back from adversity and maintain emotional well-being.

Emotional Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions.

Emotional Regulation: The ability to manage and control one’s emotions effectively.

Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Compassion: Showing care, concern, and kindness towards others.

Emotional Expressiveness: The tendency to openly express emotions.

Emotional Stability: The ability to remain calm and composed in stressful situations.

Emotional Flexibility: The ability to adapt and adjust emotions based on different situations.

Emotional Intelligence: The overall ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions.

Add the total number of traits selected and divide by nine.

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

7) In your opinion, which social traits were exhibited?

Social Intelligence: The ability to understand and navigate social situations effectively.

Social Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand social cues and dynamics.

Communication Skills: The ability to convey information and ideas effectively.

Active Listening: The ability to listen attentively and understand others’ perspectives.

Conflict Resolution: The ability to resolve conflicts and disagreements in a constructive manner.

Collaboration: The ability to work effectively with others towards a common goal.

Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Leadership: The ability to guide and influence others towards a shared vision or goal.

Networking: The ability to build and maintain relationships with others.

Add the total number of traits selected and divide by nine.

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

8) In your opinion, which cognitive traits were exhibited?

Analytical Thinking: The ability to break down complex problems and analyze them systematically.

Critical Thinking: The ability to objectively evaluate information and make reasoned judgments.

Problem-Solving Skills: The ability to identify and implement effective solutions to problems.

Creativity: The ability to generate new and innovative ideas.

Memory: The ability to retain and recall information.

Attention Span: The ability to focus and sustain attention on a task or stimulus.

Learning Agility: The ability to quickly learn and adapt to new information and situations.

Decision-Making Skills: The ability to make sound decisions based on available information.

Cognitive Flexibility: The ability to switch between different modes of thinking and adapt to changing circumstances.

Add the total number of traits selected and divide by nine.

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

Case Study #2: Because I Said So (WIP)

Case Study #3: The Pursuit of a Lie (WIP)

Case Study #4: Remediation Road (WIP)

Case Study #5: The Builder’s Commandments

On Ethics

This branch of Philosophy has been debated, expounded, and developed throughout the ages. The values of an individual need to be found within his person. Largely, however, it is the mindset of a group that the individual ends up acquiring. Whatever the group may value or hold dear, then these ideas are passed on to the individual, the next generation and so forth. In order to check the group, the individual must take a step back, introspect and find what his values, morals and thoughts are. If not, a collectivist mindset will continue to press on without a check and balance system. (History can attest to what I am stating; see 1940’s European group-thought mindset.) One must learn to think for himself and use his intellect, reason, and reality to determine his stance on life. Only then can the individual truly and without bias state his ethical code. Only then can a telling life be led; one that is conscious, driven and not pushed along without establishing itself. On this, I call Ethics.

On Reading

Truly my first love. I distinctly remember the excitement I felt when opening a new book by one of my favorite authors, or any author for that matter. The crisp edges of a page, the sharp spine that had yet to be broken; all gave rise to a thrilling sense of wonder at what I was about to discover. The sentence structure, semantics and plot all provided my young mind with a background for my imagination to take hold. As time progressed, this thirst for reading did not diminish. I read more, diversified my library while pressing upon my peers the importance of this outdated mode. In hindsight, I can honestly say that the act of reading enabled my conviction to become more rounded, my communication skills to become more precise; thus, leading to an ability to hold a conversation within any age group on any number of topics. So, give it a shot… Turn off the TV, step away from Facebook and find a book that captures your attention. It will require thinking but I am confident that your imagination will be fueled by an undying fire. (All while bringing a smile to your countenance). On this, I call Reading.

On Art

Full disclosure, I am not an artist. I merely slapstick paint or push a pen around and hope for the best. However, this simple act of artistic expression, or creating something from naught, allows the individual to express his/her innermost. Picasso stated that, “the purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.” I concur with his stance even though his art is above my head. All too often the grind of life, jobs, responsibilities, and care-giving stifle the true creative species that we are. Our nature is geared toward solving problems in an ever-changing environment. By taking a moment to pause, contemplate and create, we effectively give a voice to our disposition. The calculated creation of technology is put on hold while we explore the workings of our mind and soul. The therapy this act provides is a welcome respite that can lead to moments of self-satisfaction and peace. This aim at artistic expression is not to appease others but to introspect the values and virtues that one, sometimes unknowingly, holds dear. Moreover, if all else fails in this endeavor, at least you have paused to think while examining your soul. On this, I call Art.

On Self-Discipline

We learn from an early age that while our parents or caregivers are there for our well-being, they cannot be there to guide you at all points in your life. It is up to the individual to take responsibility for their actions, thoughts, and ideas if they are to live a meaningful life. Discipline is a necessary component to achieve this sense. Every day you are faced with challenges and questions on how you want to live your life: Do I get up today? Will I be productive or lazy? Am I to take care of the one body I possess? (A small sample size of questions yet the point is made in such.) Our ability to face reality and move forward is self-discipline. To better oneself, one must have this state of mind. Nothing is promised to our Human hence our need to form our thoughts and choose the direction in which we want to discover. Nothing is life that is worth something, comes easy. As a result, you will have to do things in life that you do not want to do. Nevertheless, you do them because the path to betterment begins with action. On this, I call Self-Discipline.

On Motivation

To be sure, one must take unconditional advantage when this state of mind is upon you. The energy it provides is likened to a transcendental experience. It arrives at varying times unless one is able to harness it permanently. By this, I mean one has to have a focus that is undeterred and unrelenting in itself and absolute in its drive. Man has studied this trait in earnest and much self-help has been written on it; yet, as evident when one looks around, it is still a mystery to many. I do not have an answer as to why this occurs… By writing on this topic, I merely want to bring attention to it. This trait of being walks closely with the following: ambition, determination, and resolve. To possess all these traits would be the result of a paramount, powerful individual. An individual who understands himself, his environment and what must be done to change or manipulate the situation. Regardless of the direction the individual pursues, having a motivating drive will surely lead them to their goal. Grasp this state and never let go. On this, I call Motivation.

On Elation

The state in which all would like to permanently dwell. However, this uplifting and joyous emotion is often short lived as reality enters the equation. Most find this state of being an external stimulus; as a result, they require increased incentives to hold on to it. With the constant advancement of our society, our Human is bombarded with images and ideas on how we should be. A never-ending deluge of dejection is often the result of this barrage… “How” and “Why” are most common beginnings to questions in which no answer can be derived. The key to this epidemic is found in oneself. The blissful awareness that I am the harbor and ship of my thoughts and thus I control my state of emotion. As a result, one will then step back and see the rat maze in which we are shrouded. To look beyond and find the wheel that is our Turning, which, when discovered, leads to a peaceful reckoning. This highly important moment is the beginning to find our calling, purpose, and hope in humanity. On this, I call Elation.

On Self-Respect

By the very fact that we exist, it should behoove the individual to respect his person. This respect, that each individual needs to learn for himself, can only be achieved once we learn to accept and love the person we are. Once done, the individual’s actions, thoughts and work will follow suit in a similar manner. However, we see it throughout history as well as our present time that man struggles with this concept. His production and time spent is the perception on which self-respect is to be measured. We are limited to a finite amount of time on Earth; then, as if we were not even here, time continues, and the man is forgotten. Yet, his efforts and his work can live immortally if produced in the manner of his abilities. Meaning, the respect in which we endow ourselves is key to the productivity produced. A wasteful attitude will destroy any chance of leaving a mark, and thus any chance of obtaining self-respect. Once we learn to respect our own person then we are able to truly respect others. This is called Self-Respect.

On Knowledge

I refer to this concept as a state of mind because the precursor to knowledge is a love of learning. The core of our Human is an innate desire to seek out information. This should be considered a never-ending pursuit of bettering oneself and not a stagnant state of being. Man must continue to learn, to expand his boundaries, diversify his thought and, once he acknowledges his limitations on a particular subject, continue to seek out that which he does not know. The material one seeks is subjective yet striving for knowledge is relative to us all. Our pursuit of something leads us to determine the course of our existence. Thus, bringing me back to my above-stated topic. This pursuit is knowledge. Knowledge from experience, life, education, friendship, desires, wants, needs, morality, books, etc. The list is endless because what we are each seeking is individual to us. One must learn to seek out his knowledge, to grasp it and continue with his search for more. On this, I call Knowledge.

On Empowerment

In our technologically advanced society, where “give me now” is the predominant mindset, children do not understand the value of patience, dedication and the antiquity involved in getting where we are as a nation. History is often a glazed eye subject for them while not understanding the importance in lessons learned. To youth, anything they desire is but a computer click away… This does not fully invoke the thought process nor mental capabilities of which they are capable. To unplug, step back and think. To introspect on life, history, and advancement. By inventing a “click here” society, the microwave generation exists solely in the present. Not concerned with past mistakes and successes, only worrying, and concerning themselves with the face of today. Then, their future becomes their present and they are left bewildered and untrained on how to manage. My goal is to invoke this thought mechanism that has been replaced with http://www.insert-your-website-here.com. THINK young people and learn from history! On this, I call Empowerment.

Case Study #6: In Defense of Sad Stories

Michael Lance Whisenant

In Defense of Sad Stories

On February 12, 2021, I lost my best friend. I have had to deal with the death of loved ones throughout my life but had seemingly forgotten what heartache felt like until recently. I had suspected for a couple months that his death was imminent if not for a recovery that seemed far-fetched. In truth, the doctor had tried all that she knew when he was first admitted to the hospital (and for that I was grateful). He improved a bit but the shine in his eyes and the expression on his countenance was not the same… However, he knew that I still held out hope for him and as such, he did his best to soldier on like the loyal friend he had always been. Was I being selfish? Absolutely. I was not ready to lose such an integral part of my being.

“I think he is losing weight,” my wife would say to me.

“He is,” was my reply, “but I think we just need to find the right diet for him.”

“His energy level and demeaner has completely changed babe, you need to start thinking on what comes next. This isn’t fair to him, and you know it.”

“I know…”

Over the next couple of weeks, his weight continued to drop, and a pleading look entered his eyes when he and I were alone.

(I’m in pain and I can’t continue to do this. Please help me Daddy…)

“I know buddy, Daddy hears you. We will go see the doctor again and see what she has to say.”

Three days later.

Thursday, February 11, 8:44am

“Good morning! It’s Doc. He is about the same. He’s resting but does not have an interest in food this morning. He pulled out his IV last night, so we are going to have to replace it. We are going to focus on getting him to eat and see if we can improve how he feels.”

“Okay thank you for the update. If he does not eat, I can bring him the deli turkey meat that he likes. Just let me know what I need to do,” I replied woefully.

“Yes, bring it so I can see what he does with that (especially after we have given him stomach meds).”

Thursday, February 11, 7:04pm

“Has he done any better?”

“He didn’t eat for me today, but he has some canned stew and a few pieces of deli meat,” she said. “He is resting and doesn’t seem agitated and uncomfortable like yesterday. We were finally able to get urine from him as he would not urinate for us yesterday. There is bacteria and red/white blood cells indicating the infection has returned. We are giving him powerful antibiotics, and I am hoping they kick in fast.”

“Okay thank you for the update as I know you are very busy. Let me know tomorrow what our options are. Have a good night.”

Friday, Feb 12, 9:42am

“Hi Doc, is he showing any signs of improvement?” I texted apprehensively.

10:04am

My phone rings.

“Hi Lance, it’s Doc. He pulled his IV out again last night and he did not touch the food we had left for him…” There was more to be said but her words began to fade as the truth finally sank in: It’s time.

“Doc, I can’t keep doing this to him. It’s not fair, and I can no longer be selfish in my desires. It is time for us to let him go. When can I come up there?”

“I can get a room set up so y’all can spend some time with him. Can you be here at 10:45?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I will call Tiffany and have her meet me at the clinic.”

I hung up while fighting back tears… This was not how I imagined the end would be when he showed up on our driveway four years ago.

“Hey Boss, I have to leave work for a bit,” I stated as I gathered my wallet and keys. “I will be back later this afternoon.”

I wish I could say that I thought on the good times during the ten minutes it took to drive to the clinic. However, at that moment, the singular thought that consumed my attention was: This is it. These are my final moments to spend with my confidant and collaborator. The one who never judged and always had my back. The friend who smiled and jumped with joy at the sight of me. My precious, sweet baby boy would soon meet his maker.

My cherished Snacks was having to be put down…

Upon arrival, my heart was beating furiously, and my legs seemed to have added weight. Everything seemed to be happening quickly, and this was not what I had expected. Don’t the movies say things are supposed to slow down as our perspective narrows and we absorb our surroundings?

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

“Hi. Did Doc tell you what we were doing today…?” I queried.

“No,” the receptionist replied.

“Oh. We are having Snacks put down. She said she would get a room set up for us so we could spend some time with him.” I explained.

As I was directed to the room in which our final meeting place would be, I noticed the other patrons with their animals, the happy expressions on both faces, and felt my heart regress a little further into its inner sanctum. Was I jealous of their happiness as my grief took hold? Maybe, but I don’t think so. In truth, I find it difficult to try and give voice to the rawness at which I felt. It certainly felt tangible and seemed ripe to dominate my thinking if I only let it; palpable for sure. The evidence of its weight was not lost on the Vet Tech as she escorted me to my decision.

“We will bring him in here in just a few minutes,” she stated.

“Should I call my wife now and have her head this way?” I asked.

“Yes. Call her now.”

Sigh.

“Hey. You need to come now. They are about to bring him to the room so we can spend some time together before he goes.”

“Okay, I am heading that way.”

Bless my wife. She is the definition of perky with a side of caffeine. And yes, I wrote that correctly. But this day, as one would imagine, the spunk was not present in her voice, and the liveliness of her spirit was dulled.

“Hey babe. They should be bringing him here shortly,” I said when seeing her.

“Okay. I’m glad I was able to get off work and be here. I thought I might not be able to.”

We huddled together in our chairs, each with our own thoughts as we waited anxiously for the sound of toenails on painted concrete. I could hear muffled conversations happening in the hallway but did my best to tune out anything other than clink, clink, clink, so as not to miss his arrival.

“Here he comes,” I directed at Tiff.

The door opened and he was led in.

“Hey Snacks, hey Big Boy! Daddy missed you baby!” I exclaimed while kissing his forehead and face. “Mommy and Daddy are here buddy.”

He had lost more weight and was down to 75lbs (as compared to the 100lbs he weighed only a few months ago). His downcast eyes tried to hide the pain in which he felt, but I knew. See, I had studied those eyes, that face, and those features. I knew every inch of him and could sense that he was tired of fighting and wanted the final sleep in which we all are promised.

“I see you buddy… Daddy knows.” I whispered in his ear. “Mommy and Daddy love you so much Snacks. Thank you buddy, thank you.”

We continued to pet and talk to him and did our best at reassuring him that Mommy and Daddy were here with him and that we loved him. We kissed his eyes, his nose, his ears, his slobbery jowls that ruined many a pair of pants, and we accepted that our beautiful boy would soon be leaving.

“He won’t feel any pain, and it will be just like he is going to sleep,” Doc assured us.

The needle was inserted, and the plunger pulled back. Blood darted in the syringe as proof that a vein had been found.

“Okay, here we go,” she said.

Slowly, the plunger began pushing the death dose throughout his system. As the syringe emptied, Snacks took his final breath and felt no more pain.

Afterword

February 23, 2021 8:45pm

Ten days have passed. Ten days and I think about him and the times we had together… The many days of destroying tennis balls or ripping blankets while besting Daddy in a tug-of-war match. Oh, the fun we had! I knew from the moment I saw you that we would be best friends and that we would play and love each other. Remember when I would escape from my collar and you would have to chase me down the street? Or when you would try and mow the yard and I would bite the tires thinking it was trying to hurt you? Those were the best days! I remember the steak you and Mommy fed me on my birthday and the balloons you let me pop. The nights when we would watch movies until I reminded you that it was 9:00 and time for bed. Remember Daddy? How about when Mommy tried to take me to PetSmart only to realize I was too strong for her to handle (I almost got those hamsters too!)? And how you always found the right spot when rubbing my belly? I will never forget those moments we shared and the time we had with each other. I’m in a better place now and you don’t need to worry about me. So, don’t cry Daddy, or feel like you need to defend a sad story. Our time was special, and for that, I want you to feel joy.

With all my love,

Snacks

Case Study #7: Break Me Down (sample)

The run was a 50-mile obstacle course, and it beat me up good. The climb up Pinnacle Mountain is straight up and you are climbing boulders. It is a beautiful view at the top, but I couldn’t linger for too long because I still had another forty-four miles to go.

The actual running trail is more rock than dirt (I kicked at least fifty rocks that were disguised, or I just didn’t see them; my toes took a bruising but fortunately my shoes are quality and have a solid toe-guard) and at Mile 17 or 18 is when we started crossing streams. Some streams you were able to cross from wet rock to wet rock and others you just had to plunge in and get soaked from the knee down. One steam, more like a river, had a rope you had to grab in order to cross it. I was running with wet feet for the duration of the run, and I didn’t have time to change my socks for this reason: In my haste to leave the aid station at mile sixteen, I missed the sign for the trail and ended up running .4 miles in the wrong direction. I then had to run .4 miles back, find the trail, and try to make up the time I lost.

And to top it off, my IT Band flared up in my left knee on mile twenty. I had to land and push with my right leg and swing my left leg so it would bear only minimal impact. Fortunately, I could power walk, and it didn’t hurt so I was speed-walking 15-min miles to make sure I made the checkpoint cutoff times. When I was falling behind my minimum 15-min pace, I would do a shuffle-style run to make up time. I couldn’t do this for more than one hundred yards at a time, or my IT band would scream at me.

Oh, and I rolled my right ankle at mile forty. At that point in the race, I didn’t care about the pain or if I had to crawl across the finish line; I was going to accomplish my singular goal of finishing the race. The cutoff time was 13-hours, and me and another guy walked in with 10-15 minutes to spare. Of the 50-mile runners who finished the race, I tied for last, and I have never been prouder to finish in last place

Results

TBD

Discussion

TBD

Conclusion

TBD

Emergent Study Questions

1. Investigating the process of “moments of Enlightenment”:

– What are the cognitive and affective factors that contribute to these moments of deep understanding?

– How can technology support the occurrence of moments of Enlightenment?

– Can moments of Enlightenment be intentionally facilitated through specific instructional design strategies or interventions?

2. Understanding the mechanisms of forgetting and understanding loss:

– What are the underlying cognitive processes involved in the loss of understanding over time?

– How can technology mitigate the effects of forgetting and support the retention of understanding?

– Can targeted interventions be designed to prevent or reduce understanding loss?

3. Examining the role of memory degradation in the learning process:

– How does memory degradation impact the transfer and application of understanding in real-world contexts?

– Can technology-based interventions alleviate memory degradation and enhance long-term retention and application of understanding?

– What are the optimal spacing and timing of reinforcement to combat memory degradation and support sustained understanding?

4. Exploring the interplay between repetition, reinforcement, and understanding:

– How can technology leverage repetition and reinforcement strategies to enhance the development and retention of understanding?

– What are the optimal timing, frequency, and modality of repetition and reinforcement to maximize learning outcomes?

– Can personalized and adaptive learning technologies tailor repetition and reinforcement to individual learners’ needs and learning styles?

5. Investigating the impact of adaptive learning technologies on understanding:

– How effective are adaptive learning technologies in promoting personalized and tailored learning experiences?

– What are the design considerations and challenges in developing adaptive learning technologies that optimize understanding and learning outcomes?

– Can adaptive learning technologies support learners in identifying and addressing gaps in understanding?

6. Understanding the transfer and application of understanding:

– How can technology facilitate the transfer and application of understanding to real-world contexts?

– What are the factors that influence successful transfer and application of understanding acquired through failures?

– Can technology-supported simulations and virtual environments enhance the transferability of understanding?

7. Exploring the role of learning analytics in supporting continuous improvement:

– How can learning analytics provide insights into understanding development and learning progress over time?

– How can learners use learning analytics to monitor and regulate their understanding and learning strategies?

– What ethical considerations need to be addressed when collecting and analyzing learning analytics data related to understanding and failures?

8. Investigating the impact of social and collaborative learning platforms:

– How can social learning platforms and communities of practice support the sharing, application, and reinforcement of understanding?

– What are the optimal design features of technology-supported collaborative learning environments that enhance understanding?

– Can technology facilitate collaborative problem-solving and knowledge sharing to promote deeper understanding and learning from failures?

These study questions and research directions provide avenues for further exploration and advancement in understanding how humans learn from failures, retain understanding, and continuously improve their learning outcomes using learning technologies. Researchers can delve into these areas to expand our knowledge and develop practical strategies for enhancing learning experiences.

References (WIP)

Brainpower
- Books
- Movies
- LTEC work
- Personal journals
- Interviews
- Experience
Journal articles
Textbooks
The Internet

Appendix A

HBBp

Hypothesis

Humans are an imperfect Learning Technology and learn by failing.

Conjecture

Failing comes before learning.

Every time we fail, we gain experience.

Learning occurs after we fail, and before we experience Enlightenment.

Enlightenment occurs when the lesson is learned thus leading to an understanding of the learning process.

Learning is lost when the lesson is forgotten.

Memory degradation is when the lesson learned is forgotten.

We then fail, and the process repeats.

If true, then:

Learning occurs between failures.

Understanding occurs when our gained experience produces a moment of Enlightenment.

Understanding is lost when the original lesson is forgotten.

Memory degradation is a loss of understanding.

We then fail, and the process repeats.

Appendix B

HBBpCL

Fail ->

Experience gained,

fail again ->

experience gained,

fail again ->

experience gained,

Understanding occurs.

Lesson is forgotten ->

Memory Degradation is a loss of understanding.

Fail -> process repeats

Insert Miro flowchart

Appendix C

Human Baseline Builder Survey (HBBsu)

Baseline (B) Question

Qualitative

1) In your own words, what is the lesson being taught?

Lance’s Learned Lesson (LLL) Question

Qualitative

2) Do you think Lance learned his lesson? Why or why not?

Quantitative

2a) Do you agree or disagree that Lance learned his lesson?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

Lance’s Turning Point Constant (LTPc) Question

Qualitative

3) Do you think Lance experienced a “turning point” or shift in his thinking that caused him to change his behavior? Why or why not?

Quantitative

3a) Do you think Lance experienced a “turning point” or shift in his thinking that caused him to change his behavior?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

The Forgotten Lesson Conundrum (FLc)

Qualitative

4) Do you think Lance will forget the lesson he learned? Why or why not?

Quantitative

4a) Can we anticipate that Lance will retain the lesson he learned?

0 = Strongly Disagree

1 = Disagree

2 = Somewhat Disagree

3 = Neutral

4 = Somewhat Agree

5 = Agree

6 = Strongly Agree

Self-score:

Judgment score 1:

Judgment score 2:

Appendix D

Human Baseline Builder Experience Factors Survey (HBBef)